Bad Online Dating #2

red-swirls-heart-white-background-love-smoke-fume-haze

Online Dating

Tinder Number Two

Scott Lang. Woof he was handsome, we’d had great text banter and decided to meet for dinner and drinks at a trendy place in Studio City, I was so nervous I wouldn’t know what to say or how to greet him so I chugged a glass of wine before I left the house for some Dutch courage, sprayed some perfume and headed out the door.
Of course I was awkward as fuck when he arrived at the restaurant. I went for a handshake and he went for a hug so we were in a really weird one arm hug thingy with my head in his armpit. Good start Cat. I laughed and tried to make a joke about it and we headed inside where I immediately ordered a large red to calm my nerves some more.

tinder-logo-orange-online-dating-first-date-nightmare-sexThis was a real man. A little older than me, comfortable in his own skin, laid-back and biceps as big as my thighs. Jesus he was perfect. He was an ex Cirque Du Soleil gymnast and acrobat and then had moved on to do stunt work in TV and film, liked most sports, trampoline champ, snowboarder…the list goes on and on. I was so impressed/ intimidated/ nervous that I barely ate anything at all but managed to blow through 4 glasses on wine. To say I was slurring my words was an understatement. We got on so well though (I think) and talked about a second date, it was looking so great until the end of the night in true awkward single-gal style I high-fived him and ran to my roommate’s car for the ride home. He politely text me later that evening to say he hoped I got home OK and I played it soooooo cool and waited till the next morning to send him a text thanking him for dinner. That was the last I ever heard of him.

Lessons to learn here:

  • Don’t drink all of the drinks.

  • Don’t high five a grown man after he buys you dinner.

  • Don’t have your roommate pick you up afterwards.

  • That last one though, I thought, was quite clever. So many weirdoes around these days especially on these dating apps.