Texts From Last Night


Have you been on that website? Textsfromlastnight.com
There’s a phone app too and for a time a couple of summers ago I would look at it all the time, so much funny stuff on there, mostly drunken adventures and sexual mishaps and all hilarious. It’s all anonymous and you choose to send your message in but its does show the 3 digit area code of where it came from. Go take a look and I’ll come back to this later.

I haven’t had many one-night stands, true one-night specials. Mostly I have slept with people I know as friends, or through friends or have maybe even made-out with. This is story about the latter. We made out a few summers ago, I met him at a party and he was so cool and well dressed, really handsome. I immediately knew my lips needed to touch his. And possibly my tongue.

While I was in a show in Reno I was planning to visit LA at the end of my contract and road trip there with a friend. I planned on taking some great dance classes and hitting the shops and definitely wanted a trip or two to the beach. A few of my friends from various dance gigs already lived there and I remembered this handsome fella from the party had told me he was in Hermosa Beach which isn’t too far from Los Angeles.

Out at dinner on one of the last nights I had the brilliant idea of ‘accidentally’ texting him a message meant for another guy of the same name and we got chatting – sneaky trick but it totally worked and much better than a cheesy starter line for someone you haven’t seen in a year. He was still cool and funny (and I was hoping still gorgeous) and we made plans to meet and I’d call him when I was in town.

I dragged some friends along to the beach town one evening during my trip and we did dinner and some bar hopping and handsome surfer came to meet us. I felt a little nervous and was worried I wasn’t looking cute which really made me quite quiet and over-think about everything I wanted to say so I proceed to ‘drink myself fun’. This never works out as planned. When I use this method I always go from a little bit tipsy to blackout-drunk-mess. There is no fun middle ground when I’m cracking jokes and buying everyone drinks it’s just, black. This night was no different, true to form I remember the first few drinks after dinner, I think there may have been some awkward dance moves and then I wake-up in a strange bed, in a room that isn’t mine.

Looking around I see that there’s a chair and desk, a dresser, some clothes on the floor (mine), sun pouring through the windows and behind me starting to wake…the handsome surfer. Not sure if I should be air-high-fiving myself at this moment or grabbing my pants and doing the dip. Breath, relax, think…the way I see it, I’m already naked, we already had sex (I mean, I’m assuming that’s what happened here) I might as well enjoy this right?

Good morning surfer guy, I think, god he was really was handsome, must dash to bathroom to fix myself-up a bit. As I’m nipping down the hall in his t-shirt my friend pops out of his flatmate’s bedroom and as we see each other we burst into laughter. Apparently we were on the same page last night!

Surprisingly, I didn’t look like an ugly teenage boy after the night’s shenanigans so I skip back to bed, whip off his t-shirt and we have a little roll around. This morning was another case of waking up slightly intoxicated so I felt like a real sex kitten, using my dancer flexibility wherever possible, being encouraging and exciting and onto a new move I felt like trying, I’m pretty sure I invented it. Lovely way to finish our little morning sesh and a tired man lying on top of you breathing into your neck is hot and a job well done!

We all went to breakfast to hang out and walked along the promenade before a polite goodbye and I headed back to LA for my last few days. It must have been just a day or two later and I was scrolling through the Texts From Last Night app on my phone, so many hilarious weekend stories and updates then I see this message…

She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.

Could this be a coincidence? I think not. Let’s look at a few things here…
Area code: matches hot surfer dude (actually how he is listed in my phone book)
Dancer: ME!
Cool move with squeeze: Nailed it.

Dancers ARE awesome. (Even if it wasn’t me).