Drive Safely – A Date With A Douche bag


My flat mate, Stephen, was working as a writer’s assistant for a TV show and when filming was done he invited me to the wrap party in Hollywood. It would be the whole cast and crew, director and producers.

“Hmmmm…maybe…” I said

“It’s open bar,” he said.

I said, “I’m in”

So off we went. I wore a bright green blouse that I’d let hang in my closet for weeks, some skinny jeans, a pair of silly shoes I could barely walk in and a smile from ear to ear. I was so excited to hang out with Stephen as we always have such a laugh when we go out and the thought of endless cocktails and bite-size food just got my heart racing!

Hollywood-Sign-Black-and-WhiteThe party was at a hidden spot in Hollywood that’s dark and intriguing inside, they serve drinks in gorgeous old fashioned glass wear and of course the people inside are all stars of the TV show. Stephen was such a gentlemen and as we walked around he introduced me to his colleagues and the actors from the show and before you know it I’m roaming around the party stag with a strong drink in my hand.

Oh I had a brilliant night hob-knobbing with the Hollywood crowd, cracking jokes with the director and then I meet this guy.  He’s a friend of the director’s brother and the pair of them had been lurking around the bar all night and were easily the most attractive men in the room. Stephen introduced me to the brother and his handsome friend, Travis, and we ordered around of shots that handsome man offered to pay for – how sweet, at a free open bar.

So we all did a shot or two of tequila, we topped up our mixed drinks and then started a dance party. Handsome Man was grooving and spinning me around, he had some cool moves, it was just so fun and loud and it was like it was just us in the room. He leant in for a smooch and of course I went in half way and that was the beginning of the end my night.

When we were sure we had annoyed everyone at this party with our public display of affection we hopped in Handsome Man’s car and drove to meet my gorgeous friend Amanda at another bar in Hollywood. I’m so happy to see her that when I arrive I practically jump in her arms and spill her drink, this is nothing new to her and she jumps around with me and we get another drink and hang out with her crew of people.

It’s beginning to look like I have reached my boozing limit and HM offers to drive me home, so we make our way to the door, not without a stern word from Amanda warning him he better get me home safely. That he did. He drove 15 mins from Hollywood to Studio City and along douchebagthe way was telling me how he lived so far away he probably shouldn’t drive there tonight. In fact, he lived three hours North of LA in a place called San Louis Obispo and he definitely shouldn’t have been driving at all. In my inebriated state all I heard was, “blah blah, driving, blah, home” so when we pulled up at mine I hopped (stumbled?) out of the passenger side, turned around and said, “drive safe then” slammed the door, then tottered inside. I actually don’t recall any of this but Stephen got a call from HM’s buddy the next day who said he was really annoyed at the situation! Apparently Travis was hinting that he should stay at my place instead of driving all the way home, the cheek of it! I just met him that night – even in my drunken state I’m not (usually) slutty.

The next morning I was talking through the night with my flat mate and we agreed that it’s not my responsibility to house a dude when he lives far away just because we had a smooch. What would he have done if he HADN’T met me at the party? Was he going to drive back anyway or stay with his friend at the party? THEN I heard that Handsome Man had only been in LA that day as he’d driven his girlfriend to LAX that morning and get this shit…had been telling his buddy that he was so in love and as thinking about proposing when she got home.

I hope you got home safe you douche bag.


Cat Ferrier

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