Recognising a Relationship Breakdown and How it May Affect Your World
Think you might be going through a relationship breakdown? Read on to discover how this might affect your world, and how to prevent this from happening…
Having a significant other is often a great thing, and it’s true that any healthy relationship will be characterised by disagreements and exasperation. That said, if the bad starts to outweigh the good, and these feelings turn to resentment and lack of resolve, perhaps a change must be made.
Going through a relationship breakdownwill likely be a very difficult. In some cases, a relationship breakdown lawyerwill even be necessary if a divorce or separation is on the cards. Either way, though, spotting the signs is important.
Whether it be a relationship breakdown after baby birth, a breakdown due to a change in priorities, or anything else in between, knowing when to call it quits is essential. For my top tips onrecognising a relationship breakdown, so you can prevent the worst, read on…
Causes of a Relationship Breakdown
There are many reasons why relationships start to break down. For every couple, it’s different, but there are some key causes which, if unresolved, will most likely be fatal. These include:
- Miscommunication, which can lead to a misdirection of anger.
- Bad behaviours, such as cheating and lying.
- Not supporting one another.
- Withholding affection from each other.
- Giving up on working on the relationship.
How Can a Relationship Breakdown Affect Your World?
For anyone who’s gone through a relationship breakdown, you’ll know that it’s not as simple as breaking up and parting ways. Instead, it’s also the attempt to fix something, on both ends, that can’t be fixed.
Because of this, it can have greater effects on the wider aspects of your life than the average breakup. Whether it be home, work, or family, some peoples’ lives truly do fall to pieces. Here, we’re going to let you in on the affects a relationship breakdowncan have on your world, so you can be prepared, and nip it in the bud before things get messy.
A relationship breakdown can be particularly complicated with a child, or children, in the picture. For the child, this chapter will probably be a minefield to battle through, so supporting them through it can be rough. Especially if they veer towards blaming you for the breakdown, emotions will be running high.
So, not only do you have to think about battling your own emotions, but you also need to keep your children in mind throughout. You can do this through:
- Acknowledging their emotions, and ensuring they’re not carrying the burden.
- Reminding them that you’re both still there for them and love them.
- Teaching them to practice self-love, and not encouraging bad behaviours, like disrespect.
- Not allowing them to isolate themselves, and ensuring they fill the void with activities and other people.
These are just a few of the top tips for helping your children deal with a relationship breakdown. Naturally, it depends on your child, but it’s important to remember that they may be even more affected than you, and this can be tougher than the break-up itself.
Relationship breakdown homelessnessis, unfortunately, another very real side effect. This is because, when a couple live together and don’t have time to make new living arrangements before butting heads, they often end up on the streets.
It’s actually said that around one in six cases of homelessnessare caused by a relationship breakdown. Considering the increasing number of homeless people within the UK, this number looks to be increasing too.
Despite this, there are some laws which can protect UK residents from the housing effects of a relationship breakdown. For example, specialist housing advisers are able to help you decide what your next step might be, in terms of finding a new living situation. Seeking help is, therefore, paramount.
A relationship breakdownis likely to have a strong impact on your productivity in the workplace. This is natural, considering your mind is likely to be elsewhere. In fact, it’s common for work to become secondary to everything else in your life, which can sometimes lead to job loss.
This can have a further impact on your home situation too. Without work, you can’t afford somewhere to live, and it can truly spiral. This is why it’s so important to tell someone at work as soon as you feel this is affecting your performance; it’s better that they know and can help you deal with it.
Mental Health Problems
Relationship breakdown depressionis a common side effect of this life change. Whether this starts straight away due to a feeling of loss and loneliness, or whether it occurs as a result of the points above, breakup depression is common. Some of the symptoms of relationship breakdown depression could include:
- A feeling of overwhelming hopelessness and sadness.
- Fluctuation in weight.
- Insomnia, or sleeping too much.
- Lack of energy.
If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s important that you seek help, and communicate these emotions to someone. Certainly, if it’s minor, it can be something you can deal with yourself. That said, if these feelings become all-consuming, and you really see no way out, getting help from a medical professional is the next step.
For more information on dealing with depression, the internet is your best friend. Take a look at some coping mechanisms, and just remember that these feelings are completely normal and temporary; you are not a burden.
Spotting the Signs: Relationship Breakdown Stages
It’s very clear that a relationship breakdown can be detrimental to the wider life of the recipients. In fact, relationship breakdown psychologyshows that, once the causes listed previously take their toll, the stages of a crumbling relationship unfurl in much the same way too.
So, how can we recognise these symptoms before it’s too late?
Well, relationship psychologistssay that there are four steps in the process, labelled as “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” – sounds very ominous, indeed. So, how do these stages play out?
1. Unresolved Conflict
As with any close-knit relationship, arguments and conflicts are inevitable. That said, there is a difference between arguments that result in a successful resolution, and those that are left to fester.
Over time, these festering arguments can cause untold resentments between the two parties. This can cause the same issues to rear their heads time and time again.
It’s clear, from this, that it’s not the raised voices and intensity of argument that causes a breakdown. Instead, it is the ability for a couple to resolve their issues and move on from it that affects them.
2. Resentment and Contempt
During the honeymoon stage of a relationship, bad behavioursare usually brushed aside. Whether it be not cleaning up after yourself, not helping to look after the kids, or anything in between, at first, they may be ignored.
That said, when these behaviours appear relentlessly, it can become irritating for the other party. So, alongside these unresolved conflicts and disagreements, a constant repetition of bad behaviours can lead to contempt for one another.
3. Getting Defensive
Due to the stress of the conflict and resentment felt at this stage, each party can become hardened by the problems they’re facing. At this stage, the partners learn that there is no way to resolve it, which can cause them to become emotionally overwhelmed.
4. Disengagement and Avoidance
The final stage of a relationship breakdownall culminates when the above three stages become too much. Due to this, the couple starts to avoid one anotherto protect themselves from conflict.
When it gets to this stage, it’s clear that neither party cares enough to resolve things. So, by the time avoidance sets in, a resolution is unlikely.
Preventing the Effects of a Relationship Breakdown…
So, there we have it; the signs of an impending relationship breakdownso you can nip it in the bud. In many cases, these signs will appear early on and, if ignored, could be even more detrimental later on. That said, if tackled early on, spotting these signs could save a lot of mess.
Are you struggling with juggling the rest of your life after a relationship breakdown? If so, there are a number of sites you can explore, with top tips on dealing with depression, and helping you overcome these obstacles.
Bearing in mind that you are not alone, and this is a completely common and normal part of life, is so important. Tackling the issue head on from the outset is the best way to prevent it seeping into the rest of your life. Get ahead, and combat your feelings ASAP