Seeing Ourselves As Well
A common misconception we tend to have, is that dis-ease (emotional, mental, physical or discomfort of any type) needs to be immediately overcome: that it should not be part of our reality…that it is wrong. This creates inner conflict as the judgement ‘guarantees’ the presence of the illness or situation. We’ve backed ourselves into a corner.
The quickest way to feel ill is to see or believe ourselves as ill. The thought creates the belief, the experience and hence the outcome; and equally, the quickest way to feel well is to see or believe ourselves as well – whatever situation, medical procedure or therapeutic treatment we may be experiencing. We must sit in acceptance, this is vital, but we must also – alongside this – hold ourselves to our highest potential, not our lowest.
When I had cancer I chose to see myself as well. Degrees of… I was ‘well’ with a degree of cancer in my body. I wasn’t ‘ill and trying to get better’ – an outlook which would require intense effort to ‘overcome’ it. The approach we have to any situation in life, including life itself, matters. Why create a battle for ourselves? It’s unnecessary and counter-productive. It also traps us into the either/or energy resulting in a sensation of loss.
When we step into the paradigm of ‘well’ – no matter our ‘condition’ – we begin to flowwithour bodies’ natural healing instincts. We are ‘acting as if’, moving towards more of a desired state rather than trying to change the status quo. If we focus on the dis-ease and the perceived limitations of the situation, we will give energy to the dis-ease and the perceived limitations. We entrench ourself. By focusing on the solution, whilst accepting the dis-ease and giving it space to move, we create an open door for its passing. And when we chose to learn from it, whole new worlds open.
Focus on creating the reality you want more of, not the one you don’t want. Remember: “Where the attention goes, energy flows.”
Seeing Others As Well
As important as seeing ourselves as well, is to also see others as well. For two reasons: firstly, what we see in the external is a reflection of our internal reality and belief structure. The adage ‘As Within, So Without’ reminds us of this. We can’t believe one possibility for ourselves, and another for others. If we are experiencing this dichotomy, deeper insight will yield an underlying core belief, common to both expressions. Identifying the underlying processing is vital work, because as we ‘neutralise’ these conflicting beliefs, we bring our inner and outer worlds into alignment. Our core beliefs affect the totality of our outlook, having a 360 degree perspective, and it’s surprising just how many we can unconsciously hold, in turn affecting our habits and ability to self-actualise. Confusion reigns.
The second reason for seeing others as well is because when we don’t see them as such (or OK or good enough) we are projecting an energy of fear and blame. Fear, because we see a situation which is fearful and not ‘ideal’, and blame because we are – in the assumption of the situation not being ‘ideal’ – blaming a reality which is separate from our own. This creates an inner conflict pushing us away from the person or situation into a sense of separation (though our ego-mind will tell us it’s the situation or other person causing the distance). In this place, judgement arises, diminishing our capacity for trust and understanding. Although we might like to think of ourselves as empathetic, we cannot have empathy without understanding, and we cannot have understanding from a place of judgement and separation. How we do anything is how we do everything.
Seeing others as well – even if they don’t see themselves as such – creates a foundation for love and compassion. We hold a space for them to be as they need to be, creating a sense of connection and energetic permission. This is useful for everyone involved.
Well Might Mean Dying
This is a powerful message, because when we realise we can be well anddying, fear drops away. We become at one with the process of life seeing ourselves not ‘at its mercy’ but in divine alignment with it.
We must all one day pass into the next stage of reality; from the day we are born, we are heading towards this transition. We are spirit inhabiting this wonderful physical body, and at the end of our physical life our spirit continues: we will still ‘know ourself’ and have self-awareness. Whilst alive in this reality our soul has to experience what it needs in order to gain its equilibrium and realisation – it didn’t come into this world just to potter, though pottering may be the way it expresses itself. The lessons we experience, and hopefully learn, in this physical lifetime integrate into the next and into each other’s. A perceived ‘hardship’, an illness or tragedy may well be exactly what our soul – or the soul of a loved one – needs to experience. When we see and interact with life from this perspective, we become enablers of ease and flow. Resistance falls away. We see the beauty and divine intelligence. We become awe-struck.
It can be at the end of our life that our greatest work begins.
Delilah is an Energy Practitioner, Spiritual Mentor and Professional Medical Coach working in the London area. She also gives talks to organisations on transitioning illness, energy management and the dynamics and considerations for employers on returning to work following life-changing experiences or challenges.