Wing Man for The Win
Me that is. I wing-manned and I won.
My pal Amanda had met some dude during the summer at a party at the Playboy Mansion. He was a young guy from Boston in LA on a business trip and was going to be back in Los Angeles again in the fall and wanted to take Amanda for dinner. She agreed under one condition, that she brings her best friend (moi aka Wing Man) along for the banter. Not the answer this poor guy had hoped for but he said he’d bring his business partner along and we’d make a night of it. Little did he know, Amanda was literally only going for a free meal and wanted me around so she didn’t have to socialize with him. I’m always up for a nice meal and I knew that we’d all have a good laugh and have plenty to chat about even if nobody was feeling any romantic vibes. But there were vibes. Sexy vibes. So here is what happened…
Amanda picked a restaurant called, ‘Opaque’ which is one of those eat in the dark, sensory experience, trick places, you know the sort. Uber fashionable these days but actually you can’t see a feckin’ thing, it’s blooming freezing and who knows what the hell the chef has put on your plate. (The food was actually delicious so well done, Opaque.) Amanda and I got there early to scope out the normally lit lobby bar and get a stiff one then she told me she couldn’t even remember what her Playboy friend looked like.
“Erm, I think his name’s Jeremy…” she said.
Moments later a cute little guy bounds over and kisses Amanda on the cheek and introduces himself, that’s Jeremy then. The look of shock on Amanda’s face was hilarious, “he looks like a little boy!” she whispered to me.
She stuttered hello to him barely cracking a smile then her eyes wandered over to the bar, “OMG Cat I think that’s your guy, you lucky bitch”
I look over and see what I can only describe as a smart-casual version of the hulk. But not green. Fucking lush! He was tall, handsome, had dark hair, a nice smile and muscles for days. YESSSS! I mean what are the chances of that?
*Looks up to sky “Thank you!”
After that, cocktail hour was a blur. We just chatted and looked into each other eyes (I admired his biceps that were bigger than my thighs and he stared at my huge boobs that were on display in a deep V-neck bodysuit), the chemistry was insane. As soon as he started talking I just wanted to lean in and bite his lips and lick his pecks, I seriously felt like I’d won the jackpot and this was only the beginning of the night!
Before I could mount him at the table the hostess came over to let us know our table in the dark was ready and went over the menu with us to explain how it would all work. We were lead into the restaurant in a single file line; Jeremy followed by Amanda then me followed by The Hulk, all holding on to the right shoulder of the person in front of us. Even this was erotic. The Hulk was massaging my shoulder with his bear claw and running his fingers up my neck and into my hair, my knees were weak and I was quickly loosing my appetite for food.
Inside the restaurant it’s pitch black. I can’t even see my hand in front of my face. I hear my friend opposite me, Jeremy piping-in occasionally from the opposite corner and The Hulk to my right who is slowly but surely getting more handsy. Bring it on, Hulk. We chat and spill food all through the first course and the bear claws have made it from my back to my thigh and my chair is next to his. By the second round of drinks we’re making out and giggling like school girls in the dark while Amanda throws bread at us, poor Jeremy has lost all hope of having a wild night by this point and has become mute. Main course comes and I don’t have time to eat it simply because I’m far to busy playing tonsil hockey, we’re lying horizontally across both our chairs wrapped in each other. My red lippy is shot to hell and the servers in the restaurant are probably horrified but it just so much fun, being completely in the dark feels naughty and you feel sexy although I’m sure there’s nothing sexy about the scene unfolding at Table 3.
Catching Our Breath
When we’re finally done making a huge mess the server thankfully leads us ladies (that term is debatable) out to the lobby first to freshen up, I’m a hot mess and proud of it. Quick touch up and ready to bar hop with the boys and see where the night may take us. We catch a cab to Venice and go to a couple of rooftop bars where I spend the night sitting on Hulk’s lap and alternating between sipping vodka and smooching and before you know it’s time to go back to the boy’s Air B’n’B. We were lured there with the promise of a good pool game and more mixed drinks but the Hulk and I both knew what was coming up. He held my hand in his and lead me upstairs to sexy town. He wrapped me in his arms, lifted me up around his waist and you can guess the rest. If you can’t here’s the lowdown…hot, sexy, dirty, hard bonking with a couple of ass spanks thrown in for good measure and a smattering of dirty talk. Team Hulk-Cat for the win. *Air high five.
Light Bulb Moment
We were just baking in our after sex glow when pesky Jeremy pops in the room to ‘chat’ with The Hulk (no joke), he literally lay on the bed next to us and I was about to tell him to get the fuck out of there but then I had a bright idea…I rolled out of bed, scooped my clothes and purse from the floor and did the dip. No need to go through the morning rigmarole of ‘should we get brunch’ or that ‘let me order you a cab’ rubbish. Nope, out the door and into an Uber with Amanda and home to my own bed, farewell hunky man!
My pals are hopeful that Hulk will return to LA and call me and we’ll fall in love yadda yadda but they watch too many romantic-comedies and I would rather leave it how it is…a fun and feisty one-night stand with the Incredibly Sexy Hulk.
Wing Man For The Win
Check out more from Tina’s last sexcapade.